Moving Into College: Part 1: My Fears

As move-in day is quickly approaching, I've found that my fears are becoming more real.  I'm four days away from moving in, and I am 0% ready for it.  I have nothing packed and my room is still a mess (AND ME TOO).  I have days where I am like, "YES I'M SO READY LET'S GO" but most days I want to crawl into a hole and never leave.  Because I feel like that more often than not, I question whether or not I'm ready to take this step into adulthood.

Looking around the room I spent my last 18 years in, little things catch my eye; like the slightly tacky, colorful fish that border my walls.  These fish have been here longer than I have, yet I have this immense attachment to them; they've become a part of me.  The flower painting I remember painting in the first grade is still there, in it's frame that is never straight on the wall, no matter what. The fun caricature I got done in SeaWorld when I was like eight(?) is still the main focal point on the wall to my left.  It always has been, and always will be.

I don't want to let any of these things go.

I'm not prepared for the first morning I wake up in my dorm room and the first thing I see is not my fish or my painting or my caricature.  I don't want that, yet I do not have a choice.

I'm. Not. Ready. To. Let. Go.

My only fear is leaving familiarity.  As I've grown up quite sheltered, I've been babied my entire life. I'm afraid of change.  I'm afraid to move on from the life I know best, but I know it's the best thing for me.  My whole life was leading up to the very moment I open up the door to my dorm and begin this life that the past 18 years have bred me for.  For me, it's more than just moving out of my parents house; it's learning how to do life.

Well, those are my fears.

When I started writing this a day ago, these feelings that I've shared were much stronger than they are today.  I've packed more, and I've let go of certain things (eh hem, like *friends* but that will be the next blog post!).  I'm a little more ready.  (BUT I'M NOT.)

Thanks for reading!

Love, Cat