Sorry I Suck

Hi........ So there won't be a nice fancy blogpost today because I suck and I haven't written one...

My eyes are crossing because I'm so tired.  Sorry for sucking.  I'll try better next time, I promise.

Thanks for reading (kinda).

Love, Cat <3

Answering Questions About Music!

Helloooooooooo!  So you may or may not know, but I have a YouTube channel, MissCaitlynMLee, where I upload covers, vlogs, and a few other random videos here and there, but my channel is mainly for my music!  I WAS going to make this tag a video, but I thought it would be boring to watch so I decided to answer the questions here. (lol like it would be less boring to read...)

And it you want some nice music for your eye enjoyment whilst you read this, check out the right side bar for my Fall Playlist!

LET'S DO THIS THANG.

1. Which bands/artists do you own the most albums by?
- It's a tie between One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, and the Jonas Brothers.  Obvs you can tell I like boybands/groups.

2. What was the last song you listened to?
- "No Scrubs" by TLC.  It's a classic!

3. What's in your CD player right now?
- Oddly enough, "Stages" by Josh Groban.  I love me some Josh Groban, no joke.

Seriously, no joke.

4. What was the last show you attended?
- PopTart's Crazy Good Summer with Rixton, Jessie J, and Jhené Aiko at the Masonic Center.

5. What was the greatest show you've ever been to?
- This is a hard one for me.  Another tie... either 5SOS at the Fillmore, Ed Sheeran at the Greek, or Rixton, Jessie J, and Jhené Aiko at the Masonic.

6. What was the worst show you've ever been to?
- I haven't been to a bad one!

7. What's the most musically involved you have ever been?
- I've done tons of talent shows, karaoke session, church worship, etc.

8. What show are you looking forward to?
- I don't have any lined up right now, but I'm definitely trying to go to Triple Ho Show to see the babe Nialler.

LOOK AT MY BABY <3

9. What is your favorite band shirt?
- I HAVE SO MANY THIS IS HARD.  It's probably the one I got from Ed Sheeran at the Greek.  It's a gold X with cats.

it looks like this!

10. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?

- STEVIE. WONDER.  That man is a legend and I grew up listening to him.  He's incredible and I'd be honored to chill with him.

11. Who is one musician or group you wish would make a comeback?

- Without a doubt, *NSYNC.  Who even are the Backstreet Boys????

12. Who is one band/artist you've never seen live but always wanted to?

- Justin Timberlake!  He was my first love!

13. Name four or more flawless albums.

- FOUR by One Direction, +  (Plus) by Ed Sheeran, 20/20 by Justin Timberlake, Chaos and the Calm by James Bay.

14. How many music related videos/DVDs do you own?

- I only have like 2 :/

15. How many concerts have you been to total?

- I'm like 99.9% sure I've been to 10 concerts.

16. Who have you seen live the most?

- The Jonas Brothers! I've seen them three times lol.

17. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?

- I'm definitely impartial, but it is 100% The Little Mermaid soundtrack.

18. What was your last musical "phase" before you wisened up?

- I was really into KPop before.  I definitely don't keep up with it, but there's a few songs that I still love.

19. What is your "guilty pleasure" that you hate to admit to liking?

- I ain't ashamed to say I love Josh Groban.  He's amazing.

20. What is the last song you purchased?

- "Infinity" by One Direction!

21. What is a song you discovered on YouTube/Tumblr?

- "Lemonade" by Jeremy Passion <3

22. What is your favorite band?

- ONE DIRECTION

23. Who is your favorite solo artist?

- Ed Sheeran and James Bay!

24. What is your favorite album?

- "Take Me Home" by One Direction, because literally all of my favorite 1D songs are on that album.

25. What was the first song or album you ever bought?

- "Christina Aguilera" by Christina Aguilera.  I was 2 years old lol.

26. What is an album you accidentally found and love

"Chaos and the Calm" by James Bay!  I found it when they played his song on Jane the Virgin and I've loved him every since.

27. What your favorite song in a foreign language?

- "Nothing Better" by Brown Eyed Soul/JungYup.  They're/He is a Korean R&B artist & it's such a beautiful song.

28. What is a song that you would recommend to everyone?

- "Hotel Ceiling" by Rixton.  Ed Sheeran wrote it with them and it's such a beautiful and powerful song.

29. What is your favorite slow song?

- "Little Things" by One Direction.  I still cry every time I hear it.

30. What is your favorite fast song?

- "Sugar" by Maroon 5!

31. What is your favorite song at the moment?

- "Infinity" by One Direction <3

32. What is your favorite song of all time?

- It USED to be "Hello Beautiful" by the Jonas Brothers, but since has been replaced by "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran. 

33. Have you ever met someone in a band?

- I've met all of Rixton, Jessie J, Jhené Aiko, I (kind of) met Luke Hemmings

34. Can you play any instruments?

- I play the piano, ukulele, a few chords on the guitar, and the recorder lol

35. What is your favorite genre of music?

- I love pop, but I also really love R&B and some alternative.

36. What song has the highest play count on you iTunes?

- The Glee version of "Whistle"........

37.  What song would you sing on karaoke?

- Lately my go-to has been "Hotel Ceiling" by Rixton, but I will seriously sing anything.

38. What would be the best line up for a festival?

- One Direction, Ed Sheeran, 5 Seconds of Summer, Rixton, James Bay

39. Snog (kiss), marry, avoid the first 3 artists on shuffle?

- So I got... Rixton, James Bay, and WALK THE MOON.... Snog James Bay, marry Rixton, and avoid WALK THE MOON. Sorry bros.

40. Do you have music posters up in your room?

- I have One Direction and 5SOS lol

So yaaaa......... Now you know a lot about what music I listen to.  I don't just listen to One Direction though, as I now realize that that is how it may seem... I actually have a really wide range of taste in music.  I love everything except like screamo.  Leave me suggestions of songs/artists/albums you think I would like in the comments below!

Thanks for reading!

Love, Cat <3

Cat's Dorm Tour!

Cat's Dorm Tour!

Since my past few posts have been about my life in college, I thought it would only be fitting to do a dorm tour!  Check out the video below if you want to see what my room looks like!

YAY! I hope you like it! Thanks for reading (or watching too lol)!  Don't forget to subscribe to my channel!

Love, Cat <3

Moving Into College: Part 4: The Best Decision I've Made

In my latest post in the "Moving Into College" series, I mentioned how I mad a moment where I realized that I was in the right school, and I want to elaborate on that.  Back in high school, when I was making the BIG decision about what college I'd be attending later in Fall, I could not sleep.  I had a handful of colleges that I was accepted into, but I still hadn't heard from my top choice school. I guess I'll give you guys a little background about it...

College apps are extremely stressful and time consuming, and in the Fall of my senior year of high school, they were my life.  I applied to six different colleges and spent most of my time perfecting every single detail in my apps as well as my personal statement.  I just really wanted to be six for six. I applied early action to every school and then played the horrid waiting game.  One by one I started getting responses; those glorious big packets starting coming in, but two of those responses weren't what I was expecting...

My two top schools, one of which was Santa Clara University (and the only reason why I'm mentioning it is because I'm bitter, so now you know who that ends...) sent me those dreaded little letters.  Santa Clara University actually didn't even send me a letter; they sent me an email that said, AND I QUOTE, "We are sorry to inform you that we cannot offer you admission.  Good luck on your blah blah blah crap crap crap."  Okay yeah, so that wasn't exactly what it said, but that first sentence was 100% accurate, I promise, and the email was really only two sentences.  So now you know why I had to call them out cause I seriously cried.  Okay moving on...  I got a letter in the mail from my first choice school a few days after my Santa Clara disappointment, it looked like I rejection letter and I really didn't wan to open it but it actually said... dun dun dun... I GOT DEFERRED. *and if you don't know what it means to be deferred, it means that my application was sent to regular decision and I would have to WAIT until March/April to find out the real decision.*  The best things to hear after getting denied by my second choice school, huh?  Yeah no.

Getting denied and deferred was such a rip to my academic self-confidence and I honestly felt completely worn down, and when March/April came around, everyone started receiving their regular decision, I wasn't really looking forward to receiving that final decision letter from my first choice. Now you're probably thinking... "Oh my god you should be grateful for at least getting deferred.  A lot of people get denied.  YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL!!!" Well you obviously have never been deferred before so bye.  Okay moving on.  The day I knew I was suppose to receive the letter was the day I couldn't be home to have the letter in my hands.  I didn't get home that day until almost 11 at night and I opened the mailbox, I almost threw up.  There is was, the letter, THE SMALL BUSINESS SIZED LETTER.  I knew what it said.  I didn't need to open it, so I gave it to my mom and just sat down in disappointment.  My mom opened it, read it, and just let out a loud laugh.  Of course I was puzzled and asked her what it said, she just handed it to me.  You won't believe what it said, and no, it did not say that I got accepted, but it also did not say that I got denied... I got frickin waitlisted.  WAITLISTED.

The thing about getting waitlisted is that you don't get the final response until after May 1, after everyone who did get accepted, makes their decisions and puts down their deposits, aka I had to put a deposit down for a school that 1) I didn't want to go to, and 2) that I didn't want to go to.  Out of the five schools I had to choose from, there was only one that I could pick that was of the same caliber as my first choice and that was the college I chose to deposit, but my parents and I decided that we weren't going to deposit until a few days before it was due.  And so the waiting game began AGAIN.

It was Friday, April 24, 2015 and my mom got a phone call from my top school.  She didn't hear it ring and it went straight to voicemail, then my landline rang, but we don't usually answer it so we let it go to voicemail as well.  A couple minutes later, my mom saw she had a missed call and we listened to the voicemail.  It was a representative from the school who asked me to call back as soon as possible and I could not have been more shocked.  I expected the person to pick up the phone and tell me that there was no space in their incoming class for me, but I was asked if I was still interested in the school, and my answer was "OF COURSE!!!!" but I didn't yell lol.  The representative then told me congratulations and to expect my packet in the mail soon.  WHAT.......??????????????

Yes, you read that correctly, I GOT IN.

As soon as I hung up the phone, I bursted into tears and told my parents the good news as well as called my best friend, who was also going to that school, to tell her.  I cried so much.  Never in my life have I cried real happy tears.  I felt so overwhelmed and I didn't know what to do next.  I couldn't not go to this school, yet I was still unsure about whether or not I belonged there.  It had been my dream school since I let go of the idea of Stanford.  It's what I dreamt of, everything I thought about, but something left me feel confused.  Maybe it was just the fact that I actually had to make a real decision or that everything was getting so real so suddenly.  And so I guess that brings me to the actual point of this blogpost...

Here I am today, sitting in my dorm at my top choice school, it's been a month and it doesn't feel real. It's incredible the crap they put me through for months, waiting and waiting for a final response. They kept me hanging by a thread, but here I am.  If you've read my past posts, you probably already know that I was struggling so much with adjusting to college life, and although it's gotten easier, I still have my moments.  I said in my last post that I had a moment where I knew I was in the right place and every since then, things couldn't have been better.  It was the most comforting feeling ever and I can't even explain it.  For the first few weeks, I questioned whether or not I was in the right school, and although I know it's only natural to feel that way for a while, I still felt unsure.  Up until that very moment where I realized this is where I belong, everything was blurry, but not I couldn't be happier.

I'm not great at making big life decisions.  I can't handle the pressure or the stress and usually end up questioning my choices, but the best decision I've ever made is what college to go to and I'm forever grateful to have the opportunity to be here.  It still doesn't feel real.  Nothing about this is real at all.

I'm sad to say, but this is the last part of my Moving Into College series.  I really want to end on a good note and I think this is a really good place, but I'll keep updated on my adventures of my first year of college!  Thank you all so much for reading!

Love, Cat <3

18 (One Direction) x Caitlyn Lee

Check out my cover of One Direction's "18" if you haven't already! It's not bad I think lol.

Fall Favorites!

Hello! Autumn is right around the corner and is my second favorite season, Summer is my first, not because of the weather, but because of the beauty and fashion!  I'm so over the pumpkin spice everything craze; give me that black cherry lipstick!

WAIT! BEFORE YOU READ ON... CLICK THIS LINK AND LISTEN TO MY FALL PLAYLIST WHILE YOU READ!  https://open.spotify.com/user/12132644699/playlist/3wdy1zYejf3y3zdg63egwF

OKAY CONTINUE...

I want to share with you, some of my favorite products, clothing pieces, and random things for Fall, because even though this is type of post is overdone, everyone has different loves!

Let's get started...

BEAUTY
During Autumn, I like to tone it down when it comes to bronzer and load up on blush! Spring and Summer using means reaching for my HG Too Faced Soleil Matte Bronzer in Chocolate, but because I'm whiter than ever in Fall and Winter, I find myself gravitating towards the bronzer in my Urban Decay Naked Flushed palette. 

image courtesy of Sephora.com

This palette is everything because it has everything.  I used the highlighter EVERY DAY and the blush looks gorgeous on everyone!

Although I love the blush that comes in the Naked Flushed palette, my go-to blush for Fall is definitely Benefit Rockateur blush.  It's a beautiful rose gold and like the blush in Naked Flushed, it looks amazing on any skin tone! It has a slight shimmer, so you can totally skip the highlight if you're not feeling it that day.  

image courtesy of BenefitCosmetics.com

Fall is ALL ABOUT LIPS, and I'm pretty sure we can all agree.  I live for dark, vampy lip colors and I didn't realize I could even pull one off until last year, BUT I CANNOT GET ENOUGH. Everyone loves the classic Revlon Super Lustrous Lipcolor in Black Cherry, and it is one of my favorite's too, but my absolute favorite Fall lipcolors comes from my personal favorite drugstore brand, NYX Cosmetics! Their Soft Matte Lip Creams are my HG and I pretty much have every color in the collection, but my faves for Fall are Copenhagen and Transylvania.  Copenhagen is your perfect deep red for Fall.  I usually like to layer it over NYX Cosmetics Butter Lipstick in Licorice.  The two together are a match made in heaven.  As for Transylvania, you have to have balls to wear this one, it's truly a vampy lip color.  I love it, but I hardly wear it out because it is so dark.  It's a purple-black and I'm terrible at describing colors but it's beautiful.  The only thing about it is that it's super blotchy to apply.  Maybe it's just my tube, but it's a hassle to work with because you have to apply one layer, wait for it to dry, and repeat.  It's a lot, but it's worth it.

Copenhagen

Licorice

Transylvania

It's not often you'll find me wearing a nail polish that is not black or white, but during the Fall, I like to mix it up with oxblood/burgundy.  Thanks to Pinterest, I found the absolute best vampy, oxblood polish and I cannot get enough.  Revlon Nail Enamel in Vixen is a gorgeously seductive oxblood that you'll probably see you're great aunt rocking too because it's just that great.  It's a good two coat polish and so dark that, like black polish, goes with basically everything.  It's also a dupe for Chanel Rouge Noir (Vamp) so more bang for your buck!

image courtesy of Pinterest.com

I love me some perfume.  I have tons of beautiful smelling perfumes and body sprays, but my Fall scent of choice is also my favorite perfume of all time.  It is TokyoMilk Dark Femme Fatale Collection - La Vie La Mort No. 90.  I was first introduced to this perfume three (I think) years ago when I received a little sample of it in my Sephora order and I immediately fell in love.  It's a lovely floral scent with notes of white tuberose and jasmine.  I always get compliments when I wear it and not to forget how aesthetically pleasing the bottle is.  It sits on the shelf above my bed and looks beautiful.

image courtesy of Sephora.com

Fashion

Fall is the best time for fashion, and because I live in San Francisco, I get to truly experience (and dress for) the chilly Fall weather!  Oh how I love sweater weather!

One of my absolute favorite sweaters is from the LC Lauren Conrad line at Kohl's.  It's baby pink and has the softest and cutest bunnies on it! Sounds like something a toddler would wear? You're probably right but I LOVE IT.  It's warm but light, and I found myself touching the bunnies a lot lol. Unfortunately, it isn't for sale anymore at Kohl's and I can't find it for resale online :/ sorry.

image courtesy of Poshmark.com

Fall is also the best time for flannels and I've worn my favorite flannel so much that it's actually kind of faded but it keeps me warm and looking good lol.  I call it my "Luke Flannel" because it resembles a flannel that my boyfriend Luke Hemmings also has.  It's actually Forever 21 Men but the baggier, and boxier, the better.  

Here's a link to something similar.

Here's a photo of my cutie wearing it because I couldn't find a good picture of the flannel by itself

I love not wearing shoes and basically live in sandals but the chilly SF weather calls for something more.  I hate socks and shoes but when I HAVE to wear them, I grab my two favorite pair of boots. I have a problem and have too many pairs of black boots and shoes, but I always wear the same two pairs.  Basic black booties are a staple in a girl's closet and mine are from H&M.  They are super affordable, only $34.99(!!!!!) and have a tiny one inch heel.  I've only had these boots are a month but I've already worn them so much.  

image courtesy of HM.com

My other go-to pair of boots is from Charlotte Russe.  I usually hear nothing but bad things about the quality of Charlotte Russe shoes, but these boots have been nothing but a friend to me.  I've worn them to concerts, on long walks, and they haven't failed me once.  The best part about them is that I got them on sale!!!! I only paid $4.95 for them.  Yes, you read that right, FOUR DOLLARS AND NINETY FIVE CENTS. 

They're similar to these from Forever 21, but with lace paneling instead of the lil holes.

images courtesy of Pinterest.com

I have had trouble finding the perfect coat for Fall.  I've wanted something that's not too thick so I can layer sweaters underneath, but warm enough to wear with just a t-shirt, AND I FOUND IT.  It only took me like six years lol.  It's from Forever 21 and I only paid $25 for it.  I'm in love.

This is not it but it's the most similar.

Couldn't find a good photo of the jacket but here's me wearing it, featuring my H&M boots and the Copenhagen/Licorice lip combo.

FUN RANDOM STUFF!

It's not very well known, but there is more to Fall than vampy lip colors and comfy sweaters.  It's the best time to cuddle up with your headphones in, with a latte, and a good book, but I don't read, however, I do listen to music!  I'm a junky for ballad-y, romantic music, anything that'll make my heart melt.  I created an awesome Fall playlist! Click here if you'd like to give it a listen, if you're not listening already... and find out what music I've been loving for the season!  I'll continue to update it as I discover new music!  

https://open.spotify.com/user/12132644699/playlist/3wdy1zYejf3y3zdg63egwF

I ain't about that Pumpkin Spice Latte life, I'm more about that Salted Caramel Mocha or White Chocolate Mocha life, but those are winter drinks right? OKAY I JUST CHECKED AND YOU CAN GET THOSE AT STARBUCKS RIGHT NOW. TAKE MY MONEY ALREADY DAMNIT.

image courtesy of Starbucks.com (like you don't already know the beauty of a Salted Caramel Mocha...)

My last Fall favorite is simple.  I feel as though I mentioned cuddling and coziness quite a bit in this post but the key factor to a good cozy cuddle is none other than a fantastic throw blanket.  I found the most amazing throw blanket at Marshall's for only $20 and it is the warmest, softest, most beautiful blanket ever created.  I just want to wrap myself in it and never see the world ever again. (okay not that dramatic but you get what I'm saying...) Mine looks just like the photo below except it's in the color Antique White and I COULDN'T FIND A PICTURE!!!

You can get it in gray or red here!

image courtesy of Overstock.com

My advice for the best Fall day-in is a good throw blanket, a Salted Caramel Mocha, and a good playlist.  Get comfy, maybe watch a movie, and just enjoy your time.  Fall is one of the best times of year and if you get to truly experience the beauty of Fall, you're so lucky.  Don't forget to sit outside and admire nature doing its thang lol.

As always, thanks for reading!

Love, Cat <3

I Suck At Blogging!!!

and here's a photo of my cat sucking at being a cat!!!

Helllooooo! Today I'm going to be talking with you guys about how I suck at blogging.  Blogging is something that I really want to do and keep up with, but I SUCK SO MUCH.

Since I started this blog back in June, my goal was to post every week, at least once a week, and for a while I did a good job of keeping up with it right?  Unfortunately, as school started, I struggled with keeping up with my (extremely realistic) blogging schedule, and ended up almost completely forgetting about it.  I've tried my best to get back into posting once a week, and I think I've done a fair job.  Don't worry though, I have posts queued up so I don't have to worry about forgetting a week; unless of course all those posts go up and I forget to write more, which is something I would definitely do.  I'll try not to be yah lol.

Therefore, I promise I'll try to suck less.  Blogging is hard though because I have to come up with good content to share with you, like this is a prime example of a crap post that I don't want to give to you.  Also, the reason why I've skipped the past two months of Monthly Obsessions is because I literally only have nothing new to share with you.  I'm trying to accumulate new products and find new things to do and try, but I'm a broke college student so that makes it kind of hard.

I'm trying guys.  I really am.

Thanks for reading!

Love, Cat <3

The Fun Questions Tag!

Hello! I really like tag videos and questions, and I probably should've done this on my YouTube channel, but my blog needs content too.  I thought this tag would be fun because of it's name, but we'll see.  I haven't even read the questions yet lol.

LET'S DO THIS.

1. When is your birthday?
- My birthday is June 24! It's a year away, but I'm expecting presents now that you know.  (JKJK)

2. What are your three favorite colors?
- I love PINK, white, and gold!

3. What are your three favorite quotes?
- "Negativity isn't the way to go, smile more, eat some chocolate." - Ed Sheeran
"Find something that makes you happy and don't let anyone take it away from you." - Luke Hemmings
"'Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up' please try to be night to people." - Calum Hood
*FUN FACT! The Luke and Calum quotes combined was my senior quote lol*
*also I know it only asked for three but I had to include the last one cause I really like it.*
"People aren't kind, you aren't perfect, they aren't perfect, no one is, hearts break, you fall in love, you are alive to feel, you are alive." - Ashton Irwin

4. Are you addicted to YouTube?
- If spending 15 out of 24 hours of the day on YouTube means I'm addicted than I have a seriously problem.

5. What are your favorite shows on TV or YouTube or both?
- My favorite show of ALL TIME is How I Met Your Mother, coming in a close second is Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, and the last is probably Playing House.

(At this point I realize that these questions are not fun or interesting, but I'm going to keep going because I got this far and there's no turning back...)

6. What are three qualities you like in a best friend?
- Someone who is trustworthy, ON TIME, and reliable.

7. Do you like your name?
- I do, but only because I can't see myself being someone other than Caitlyn or Cat.

8. If you have the choice to pick your own name, what will it be?
- I wouldn't change it because my name sounds good with any last name so I wouldn't have to worry when I get married and change my last name.  IE... Caitlyn Hemmings, Caitlyn Horan.

9. What is your fantasy dream?
- To be a famous singer and marry Luke Hemmings and/or Niall Horan.

10. Do you wear makeup?
- I wear too much makeup.

11. If you would write a book, what you the title be and what would it be about?
- I've always wanted to write a book about my struggles in life and how I got through them.  I'd probably titled it something dumb like "Cat's Life".

12. What makes you cry?
- Everything makes me cry.  I'm a freaking fountain.

13. What makes you angry?
- Lots of things make me angry.  I can't name them.

14. What makes you happy?
- Lots of things make me happy! I just like being happy.

15. What is "fangirling?"
- It's finding someone or a band or group that makes you happy and they become such a huge part or investment in your life that when they do something or something happens, you lose your poo.

16. What are your three favorite snacks?
- Honey Nut Cheerios, Goldfish, and Oreos. (IM SO UNHEALTHY AND ALSO A TODDLER)

17. What are your three favorite foods?
- Pizza, chicken strips, and mac and cheese. (SO UNHEALTHY GEEZ)

18. What are your three favorite drinks?
- Piña colada (virgin though obvs), iced tea, and coconut water.

19. Can you tell us a little about yourself?
- Is this a job interview now???? I guess I'll give y'all a brief rundown then... I'm 18 years old, first year college student, part time blogger/YouTuber, dreamer, eater, sleeper.  (You can found out more about me in my About Me post or in my welcome post!)

20. What are ten random facts about you?
- Ohhh okay, these probably won't be interesting, fair warning.
1) I collect shoes.
2) I'm really into baseball, especially the San Francisco Giants, and have been since I was a child.
3) I started singing since before I could actually talk.  My mom told me the first time I sang, I was only about a year and a half old and I was singing gibberish, but she could tell it was a song from Barney.
4) I've been to a lot of concerts and I'm very grateful for that.
5) Luke Hemmings said he'd go to junior prom with me but didn't end up coming :/
6) I really like running shorts but I hate running.
7) I've secretly always wanted to be a hip hop dancer but I suck at dancing.
8) I tripped and almost fell in front of my entire class during the precessional at graduation practice.
9) My black/white to color clothing ratio is like 10:1.
10) I don't get the whole pumpkin spice hype but I love me some pumpkin pie lol.

21. What are your three fun things to do?
- Eat, sleep, and laugh.

Whelp... those questions were not fun whatsoever, but I hope you got something out of it.  If you didn't then that's like five minutes of your life you won't get back lol.  Whoops.

As always, thanks for reading!

Love, Cat <3

Moving Into College: Part 3: Where is Home???

The first three weeks of college are done and I'm starting to adjust to my new life better.  It's been a rough few weeks for me, but I've been trying my best to be positive about it.  I think one of the reasons it's been better is because I've been getting more into a routine.  I need a routine in my life or I'd go crazy... (like I did the first week...)

You're probably at a point where you're like "Oh my God, please just explain why the title of this post is what it is!!!!!" so I will do that now, you don't have to yell.  Geez.

JK.

ANYWAYS... The reason why I titled this blogpost, "WHERE IS HOME???" is because for the first two weeks of school, that's what I've been asking myself.  After the first week of classes ended, I couldn't have been more excited than to go home for the weekend.  The entire first week, I fought tears every day until I ended my day with a phone call from my parents.  I let loose around 7 pm every night until finally, I couldn't take it.  On a Thursday night, I called my mom and told her I wanted to go home.  I cried for two hours while on the phone with her; it was almost like I was dying and wouldn't be able to see her again.  Over-dramatic? Probably, but if you're a homebody like me, you'd probably understand.  I only had to wait less than 24 hours before I'd be on my way home, but I just couldn't take it any longer.

Friday finally came, and the only thing I could think about was going home.  I had a full day of classes but nothing other than home, was in my head.  Three thirty rolled around and I was bolting back to my dorm to get things packed to go home. When I got into my parents car, I was happier than ever, but little did I know, when I get home, that happiness would disappear.  That afternoon dragged on and on until the end of the day finally came.  I was elated to be able to sleep in MY bed, and not some bed that was given to me, but it didn't feel the same.  It wasn't right.  My bed no longer felt like my bed, my home no longer felt like my home.  Nothing felt right, and I couldn't understand why. That first week of intense homesickness killed me, but what killed me even more was the fact that I didn't feel right anywhere.

Saturday I woke up confused.  It wasn't that I was used to waking up in my dorm, but that I forgot what it was like to wake up at home.  It still didn't feel right and I had determined that the only way I'd feel better was if I didn't go back to school.  I spent all of Saturday crying and telling my parents that I wasn't going back to school.  They thought I was joking, but I wasn't.  I didn't want to go back to being alone and being afraid.  I wanted things to go back to the way they were.  Unfortunately, I had no choice but to go back to school on Sunday, but my parents promised me I'd be able to come home on Tuesday.  Again, I spent all of Monday thinking about getting home and of course, had difficulty focuses on class.

After I got back to school after going home for the afternoon on Tuesday, I felt better, but I was still unsure.  It would be a few days until I got to go home again for Labor Day weekend, but it was better. I made some new friends and actually went off campus.  I began to get more comfortable and less and less, I didn't feel like bursting into tears at any given moment.  The end of the week came though, and I began to fear that I would feel the same way I did when I went home the previous weekend.  I didn't want that.  I wanted to feel at home and that night, I did.  I felt at home again, I didn't feel like I was in the wrong place, and I didn't feel like not going back to school.

So I guess I'll end with this... I gave up to early.  I gave up in the first week and I shouldn't have.  I think that it definitely helped a lot to make some friends and to see some familiar faces.  I was adjusting to my new life, but with time.  Originally, I had anticipated that I would jump right in and make new friends left and right, but little did I know, I would become a turtle and go back into my shell whenever someone new came close.  My outgoing, bubbly personality that I knew so well disappeared when I started college, but I'm slowly starting to find myself again.  Because I'm making new friends and finding my way, it's been a smoother journey.  I don't cry anymore when I call my parents, and I definitely don't feel like I don't belong.

I had a moment earlier this week when I was standing atop Lone Mountain.  I was looking down at main campus, took a deep breath, and in that very moment, I knew I was in the right place.  My advice to anyone starting college is to crave that feeling, crave that moment.  I think I was looking to have that in the first two weeks, but I didn't know it.  To have that moment was the most reassuring thing that could ever happen.

College is hard, especially the whole adjustment process.  It takes time and you have to be patient. It's honestly too bad that I can't start over, because if I could, I would definitely handle myself differently, but I'm glad I know that I AM HOME at school and at home.  It just took some time.

Thanks for reading!

Love, Cat <3