Moving Into College: Part 4: The Best Decision I've Made

In my latest post in the "Moving Into College" series, I mentioned how I mad a moment where I realized that I was in the right school, and I want to elaborate on that.  Back in high school, when I was making the BIG decision about what college I'd be attending later in Fall, I could not sleep.  I had a handful of colleges that I was accepted into, but I still hadn't heard from my top choice school. I guess I'll give you guys a little background about it...

College apps are extremely stressful and time consuming, and in the Fall of my senior year of high school, they were my life.  I applied to six different colleges and spent most of my time perfecting every single detail in my apps as well as my personal statement.  I just really wanted to be six for six. I applied early action to every school and then played the horrid waiting game.  One by one I started getting responses; those glorious big packets starting coming in, but two of those responses weren't what I was expecting...

My two top schools, one of which was Santa Clara University (and the only reason why I'm mentioning it is because I'm bitter, so now you know who that ends...) sent me those dreaded little letters.  Santa Clara University actually didn't even send me a letter; they sent me an email that said, AND I QUOTE, "We are sorry to inform you that we cannot offer you admission.  Good luck on your blah blah blah crap crap crap."  Okay yeah, so that wasn't exactly what it said, but that first sentence was 100% accurate, I promise, and the email was really only two sentences.  So now you know why I had to call them out cause I seriously cried.  Okay moving on...  I got a letter in the mail from my first choice school a few days after my Santa Clara disappointment, it looked like I rejection letter and I really didn't wan to open it but it actually said... dun dun dun... I GOT DEFERRED. *and if you don't know what it means to be deferred, it means that my application was sent to regular decision and I would have to WAIT until March/April to find out the real decision.*  The best things to hear after getting denied by my second choice school, huh?  Yeah no.

Getting denied and deferred was such a rip to my academic self-confidence and I honestly felt completely worn down, and when March/April came around, everyone started receiving their regular decision, I wasn't really looking forward to receiving that final decision letter from my first choice. Now you're probably thinking... "Oh my god you should be grateful for at least getting deferred.  A lot of people get denied.  YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL!!!" Well you obviously have never been deferred before so bye.  Okay moving on.  The day I knew I was suppose to receive the letter was the day I couldn't be home to have the letter in my hands.  I didn't get home that day until almost 11 at night and I opened the mailbox, I almost threw up.  There is was, the letter, THE SMALL BUSINESS SIZED LETTER.  I knew what it said.  I didn't need to open it, so I gave it to my mom and just sat down in disappointment.  My mom opened it, read it, and just let out a loud laugh.  Of course I was puzzled and asked her what it said, she just handed it to me.  You won't believe what it said, and no, it did not say that I got accepted, but it also did not say that I got denied... I got frickin waitlisted.  WAITLISTED.

The thing about getting waitlisted is that you don't get the final response until after May 1, after everyone who did get accepted, makes their decisions and puts down their deposits, aka I had to put a deposit down for a school that 1) I didn't want to go to, and 2) that I didn't want to go to.  Out of the five schools I had to choose from, there was only one that I could pick that was of the same caliber as my first choice and that was the college I chose to deposit, but my parents and I decided that we weren't going to deposit until a few days before it was due.  And so the waiting game began AGAIN.

It was Friday, April 24, 2015 and my mom got a phone call from my top school.  She didn't hear it ring and it went straight to voicemail, then my landline rang, but we don't usually answer it so we let it go to voicemail as well.  A couple minutes later, my mom saw she had a missed call and we listened to the voicemail.  It was a representative from the school who asked me to call back as soon as possible and I could not have been more shocked.  I expected the person to pick up the phone and tell me that there was no space in their incoming class for me, but I was asked if I was still interested in the school, and my answer was "OF COURSE!!!!" but I didn't yell lol.  The representative then told me congratulations and to expect my packet in the mail soon.  WHAT.......??????????????

Yes, you read that correctly, I GOT IN.

As soon as I hung up the phone, I bursted into tears and told my parents the good news as well as called my best friend, who was also going to that school, to tell her.  I cried so much.  Never in my life have I cried real happy tears.  I felt so overwhelmed and I didn't know what to do next.  I couldn't not go to this school, yet I was still unsure about whether or not I belonged there.  It had been my dream school since I let go of the idea of Stanford.  It's what I dreamt of, everything I thought about, but something left me feel confused.  Maybe it was just the fact that I actually had to make a real decision or that everything was getting so real so suddenly.  And so I guess that brings me to the actual point of this blogpost...

Here I am today, sitting in my dorm at my top choice school, it's been a month and it doesn't feel real. It's incredible the crap they put me through for months, waiting and waiting for a final response. They kept me hanging by a thread, but here I am.  If you've read my past posts, you probably already know that I was struggling so much with adjusting to college life, and although it's gotten easier, I still have my moments.  I said in my last post that I had a moment where I knew I was in the right place and every since then, things couldn't have been better.  It was the most comforting feeling ever and I can't even explain it.  For the first few weeks, I questioned whether or not I was in the right school, and although I know it's only natural to feel that way for a while, I still felt unsure.  Up until that very moment where I realized this is where I belong, everything was blurry, but not I couldn't be happier.

I'm not great at making big life decisions.  I can't handle the pressure or the stress and usually end up questioning my choices, but the best decision I've ever made is what college to go to and I'm forever grateful to have the opportunity to be here.  It still doesn't feel real.  Nothing about this is real at all.

I'm sad to say, but this is the last part of my Moving Into College series.  I really want to end on a good note and I think this is a really good place, but I'll keep updated on my adventures of my first year of college!  Thank you all so much for reading!

Love, Cat <3